There are some things even a Level 7 Encryption can’t hide—especially when a three-year-old is involved. The Atomic Sisters are back with a hilariously relatable jump-swing number about the perils of post-war personal grooming. “Mommy’s Got Bikini Wax” is a reminder that in the bunker, there’s no such thing as “classified” when the toddlers are talking.
Tactical Strips and Toddler Lore
It started as a simple “mission” at 2 AM—a dollar store thrill involving a flickering kitchen light and a dream of being “smooth for the nuclear night.” But as Vivian and Rosemary harmonize, the mission went south the moment those “pattering feet” hit the hallway.
There’s no “hushing” a preschooler who has witnessed the bravery of a self-applied wax strip. Before the sun was even up, the “recap” had made its way from the kitchen to the mailman, the dentist, and even the local pastor. It turns out that a “tactical strip” is great for morale, but terrible for your social standing at the grocery store.
Filed Under Sector 4
The Sisters give us a cheeky look at “trauma flashbacks” and the specific kind of sweat that breaks out when your child tells the entire sector that “Mommy’s not fuzzy yet.” It’s a fast-paced, sassy track that reminds us all: if you’re going to perform maintenance on your “bunker thighs,” make sure there are absolutely no witnesses in sight.
Log this one under Unnecessary Morale Reports, because the truth is out there, and it’s swinging its hips through Sector 4.
MOMMY’S GOT BIKINI WAX
by: Atomic Sisters
It was 2 AM and the house was still
Mommy had a mission and a dollar store thrill
Kitchen light flickered towel wrapped tight
She said this waxll hold through nuclear night
But from down the hall came patterin feet
Three year old whispers way too sweet
Mommy whats that goo on your lap
And now every store clerk knows the recap
Mommys got a bikini wax
Tactical strip and a flash of sass
Did it herself with a mirror and tea
Now the toddler tells it publicly
Mommys got a bikini wax
Filed under things she cant take back
Its not classified its toddler lore
They told the mailman and the grocery store
Tried to explain but the damage was done
Told the pastor the dentist and everyone
Mommy had a wax down there last night
And smiled like theyd seen a firefight
Couldnt blame em the kid just shared
A tale of bravery stripped and bared
But no one warns you how hard youll sweat
When a preschooler says Mommys not fuzzy yet
Wax strips warm tears
Flashbacks echo through the years
But shes smooth shes fierce shes seen the light
And shell never wax with witnesses in sight
Mommys got a bikini wax
Swingin hips and trauma flashbacks
KNF7 logged it in Sector 4
Under Unnecessary Morale Reports