If you thought the “Joybox Incident” was the only thing being swept under the bunker rug, think again. The Atomic Sisters are back with a track that is as raw as a fresh floor burn. “Two Titty Slap (On a Government Floor)” is a hilariously honest dive into the physical comedy of wasteland domesticity, reminding us that sometimes the floor claps back when you least expect it.
Gravity’s Cruel Fingerprints
Frankie takes the lead on this high-energy, honky-tonk swing, recounting a DIY hair-bleaching session that went south in a hurry. We’ve all been there: kitchen floor covered in hair clippings, “no-good man” on the exit list, and a lack of proper support. It’s a recipe for a disaster that only the cold, hard tile of a government-issued bunker can provide.
As the Sisters harmoniously point out, “symmetry ain’t what I thought I had.” When time slows down and the floor meets the flesh, you’re left staring at the ceiling questioning the score of a match you didn’t even know you were playing.
Reflections and Linoleum Lessons
With kids laughing like crows in the hallway and hair dye dripping like petroleum, this song captures the “sass and shame” of a true bunker blooper. It’s about more than just a fall; it’s about getting up with flair and realizing that some tales are just too good not to share—even if they involve a “double attack” on the linoleum.
The Sisters’ final word on the matter? Wear a bra while you bleach, avoid cutting hair on tile, and if you’re going to fall, make sure you do it like a diva who’s ready to giggle and never look back.
TWO TITTY SLAP (ON A GOVERNMENT FLOOR)
by: Atomic Sisters
I was bleachin roots in my kitchen
Undies socks no inhibition
Clippin locks from that no good man
Swore Id leave him when I can
One wrong step on that clippin mess
Tile floor cold on my Sunday best
Time slowed down I caught a glimpse
Of gravitys cruel fingerprints
It was a two titty slap on a government floor
Left me starin at the ceiling questionin the score
Right one hit like thunder left was a gentle tap
Turns out symmetry aint what I thought I had
Ohhh it was a two titty slap and I aint been back no more
My hair dye drip hit the linoleum
My pride stayed down like petroleum
The scissors flew the clippers screamed
I saw my reflection and she looked mean
Kids in the hallway laughin like crows
One said Mama you sure got some lows
But every slap tells a tale you see
That day the floor clapped back at me
It was a two titty slap on a government floor
Fell like a diva who aint dancin no more
Left cheek caught cold right breast led the attack
Got up gigglin and never looked back
Now when I bleach I wear a bra
And cut no hair on tile nah nah
But when I slip I do it with flair
Cause this tale lives rent free in the air
Two titty slap and baby thats a fact