In “Stand on the X,” Chip O’Gamma delivers a jaunty tutorial on how to lose your privacy with a smile. It is the sonic equivalent of a mandatory security screening at a Sector 8 checkpoint, where the “hum and click” of the machinery is just the sound of “Big Brother” looking out for your best interests.
The Smile for the Spool
Chip frames the act of being scanned and cataloged not as an intrusion, but as a photo opportunity. He encourages the listener to “flash that smile from cradle to grave,” suggesting that “obedient citizens look great on the spool.” The horror here is clinical: the machine checks for “stress, dissent, or doubt,” and Chip’s only advice is to “keep your cool.” To Chip, your identity—from your snoring habits to your shoe size—is just data to be filed for “future routes.”
The imagery of the “red lights” and the “static ache” is quickly smoothed over by Chip’s promise of a “coupon for a snack.” It’s the ultimate trade-off for the wasteland: total transparency for a bit of processed sugar.
Painless and Mostly Disease-Free
The chorus is a masterpiece of low-bar reassurance: “We promise it’s painless and mostly disease-free.” It’s the kind of comfort only a man like Chip can provide—the assurance that the government’s invasive technology is at least sterilized. He ends the track by reminding us that there’s “no need to ask what comes next.” In Chip’s world, the script is already written, the X is already marked, and your only job is to stay within the frame.
STAND ON THE X
by: Chip O’Gamma
The door goes ping and the lights go red
A voice says smile so you nod your head
You stand on the X like a good little scout
While the wall reads things your brain won’t shout
It hums and clicks and notes your stare
Measures your pulse and style of hair
It checks for stress dissent or doubt
Then files your face for future routes
Stand on the X hold still say cheese
We promise it’s painless and mostly disease free
Your file looks fine so keep your cool
Obedient citizens look great on the spool
It knows your name your shoe size too
How loud you snore and what you chew
Your tone your twitch your daily track
But don’t you worry Big Brother’s got your back
Stand on the X hold still say cheese
We promise it’s painless and mostly disease free
Your file looks fine so keep your cool
Obedient citizens look great on the spool
They’ll say it’s just for safety’s sake
Ignore the hum the static ache
You’ll get a coupon for a snack
And a friendly pat once you turn your back
Stand on the X go on behave
Flash that smile from cradle to grave
No need to ask what comes next
You’re clear to go now stand on the X